Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
