It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
