I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
