Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
