Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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