I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
