Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
