haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
