we're chasing vodka with high fives
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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