Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
