He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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