In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
She said her name was "party"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
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