I don't think brook has ever known best
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
