My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
