You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
