I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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