he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
