They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
