The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
