Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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