What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
