it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is Oprah even human
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize