so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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