I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
