how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
