He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize