And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
