she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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