last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Randomize
