God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Someone signed my nipple.
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