I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
