On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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