An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Success! We fucked roommates!
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize