where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
she told me i tasted like america
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
you made out with another girl for some wings
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
