my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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