Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
