marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just invented taco cereal.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize