is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
