Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
