Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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