Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
