Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
