I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
