Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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