If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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