It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
