how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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