so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Randomize
