My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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