forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
