How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
