Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
ttyl tear gas
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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