It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
high people should be assigned attendants
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize