you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
