Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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