she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
tell me about the fingering
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
