How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
