Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
