nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
There r osticjed everywhere
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
