Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
