I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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