Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
