Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
