My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
We were destined to go to rehab together
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
