he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
