the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize