like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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