pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
